Green thumb

I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised.

When we had our new septic system put in this past spring, the wee little backhoe they brought in crushed both of the yucca plants next to the driveway. I’ve never liked yucca plants much, but I was sorry to see them just run over and squashed like that.

Well, wonder of wonders, the damn things are throwing up young green shoots again, looking far healthier than they ever did before.

On the other hand, my stupid neighbor around the corner who bought perfectly good woodland and built his version of a dreamhouse on it (read: New jersey suburban nightmare with, I kid you not, lobster traps WITH PLASTIC RED LOBSTERS IN THEM on his front yard) waters his stupid fake yard every day with automatic sprinklers (thanks for noticing our tenuous watershed, asshead!) while his stupid PLASTIC LOBSTERS have slowly become albino lobsters by baking in the sun (we are all aware, are we not, that lobsters are NOT red when alive, and caught in traps? and only acheive that color when cooked and dead? good.)

Well, that guy also planted about 20 yucca plants along the border of his stupid ostentatious lawn last year, and they are all dead. Guess what? Yuccas like dry, sandy conditions. My yuccas got mowed over by heavy machinery, yet still they rise. He frivolously tosses water and nasty chemicals around, killing his.

Although they are still not my favorite plant, yuccas have earned my respect. If only because they are proving my theory of benign neglect coupled with compliance with native soil conditions as the best way to have thriving plants.

And really, I’ve got to do something about those awful lobster traps. A little nighttime guerrilla action may really be called for.

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