There is a light that never goes out

The worst part about this whole bein’ sick thing is that I’ve had to put my swimming on hold. And I just learned how to do kick turns!

I took advanced swimming lessons in college, and I’m pretty sure they taught us how to do them then, but I seem to remember practicing them a couple of times and then deciding they were too much work for what was just recreational fun for me at the time.

Well, in my inimitable fashion for overdoing everything, I have registered for a couple of open water races this summer. So now I am, I suppose, officially in training. Suddenly kick turns seem a lot more interesting to me.

Of course they are no help in the ocean, of course, thank god, but in order to prove to myself that I can, in fact, swim more than two miles non-stop without ceasing and without the luxury of stopping, I think it would be prudent to start employing them in my daily workouts. Before we have to involve sexy rescue lifeguards in canoes in Provincetown harbor.

Hang on a mo’…

No, forget it, no amount of proximity to hunky gay lifeguards can be counterbalanced by the mortification of puking up seawater in their faces. Kick turns it is.

Is that even what they are called? Or am I just confusing them with that thing Gene Kelly does with a lamppost in Singin’ in the Rain?

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