March 2006

The poor little house next door. All it wants is a nice relationship, someone to settle down with and celebrate the passing of the years. I’ve seen them come and I’ve seen them go, and she gives her heart to them all. And what is the first thing each and every one of them does [...]

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I have large feet. Officially they are US size nines, UK size 40-ish. Add to that the high arches and unladylike width of my feet, and let’s just say I am solidly rooted. Well grounded. Earth-bound. The other thing that needs to be established is that I grew up poor. My parents’ divorce when I [...]

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I have decided that it is time to buy my ass some motherfecking clothes. I am honest enough with myself to know that I am not embarking on some great odyssey to make my wardrobe anew — today’s little jaunt is more than likely to yield nothing but a few more pairs of black pants, [...]

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You know, sometimes I think that I just don’t show the internet just how retarded I am quite often enough. To take the tiniest of steps in rectifying that situation, allow me to show you what I just bought online: Observant readers already know that one of my most singluar pleasures is to curl up [...]

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