I appear to have lost my voice. It has taken me a few days to figure this out.

A week ago right now I was descending into the jaws of the worst cold I can ever remember having, not counting that airplane sickness I got coming home from Amsterdam. Airplane sickness always kicks serious ass. Everything about this cold was worse than anything else: the body aches were the worst, the coughing was insane, etc. etc. etc.

For the last few days I have been feeling pretty OK, just a little left over coughing and hacking. But my voice has been strangely elevated for several days now. No sore throat. Just… no access to the majority of my vocal chords. At first i just figured it was the last throes of my cold. But I have slowly come to accept that I have just simply gone and lost my damn voice. Like a rock star.

I’ve been slamming down the tea with lemon, getting plenty of sleep and all that malarkey. But it just seems to be getting worse. I sound like Mickey goddamn Mouse over here.

Now I think that the only thing that will return my voice to its formerly sultry self is forced inactivity. I am going to try… try… to not speak all weekend. They say that it is the only thing that really works. I do try to do as I’m told — after exhausting all the other possibilites, of course — so that is what I will try.

Does this get me out of calling my mother on Sunday?

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