hey ladies

Does anyone need a sticker peeled off?

Or an itch scratched?

Or perhaps a tricky little knot pried loose?

Well too bad.

Because I just filed my nails right down to the quick, and that is always when I need to do those things.

On the bright side, I am now primed and ready for:

playing a little ragtime piano

thrumming my fingers in an expression of ennui

pleasuring the ladies in a special way

BUT since I would be more surprised than I can possibly say to be called on to perform any of those duties, I am left simply wondering why I got so damn carried away with the nail file.

IT’S JUST BEST TO BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING I GUESS.

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